You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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