I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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