New invention idea: vibrating tampons
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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