then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
