i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
