Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
