He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
