I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
