this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
