So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
