whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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