i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She needs sedatives and a leash
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
