Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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