Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
