Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
false alarm, still single
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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