I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
