i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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