Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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