Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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