just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
