well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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