found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
