I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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