i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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