singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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