I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
