don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
