PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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