let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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