I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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