You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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