she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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