So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
