Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
