He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
