I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
