i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
