i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
