Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
