What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
