Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sarcasm needs its own font
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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