this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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