Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize