but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
