Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Randomize
