belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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