Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
