I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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