Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
