i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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