I just threw up on my dentist
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
