if i can run in heels then i can drive
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
