Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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