i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
