In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there's paper in my vomit.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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