She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
