No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize