i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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